The Dicklick Brigade is an elusive collective of experimental musicians originally founded by self-righteous prick Geoff Mangum in Holland, 1945. Then officially again in 2009. Despite the bands' best efforts, their popularity and critical adoration continues to soar, with upwards of several people downloading each release.
Amongst the band’s high-profile collaborators are nordic tween dreamboat Varg Vikernes, gigantic faggot Thomas Yorkshire & The Radio-heads, and actor/hunk Jake Gyllenhaal, who reveals a talent for acapella tracks focusing on his famous genitalia.
Due to the sporadic history of the band, their output can be divided into two 'waves': the 'First Wave' (starting with 1945, then 2009) and the 'Second Wave' (also known as the 'Second Coming', starting in 2012).
You can read more about the band and it's members, here: The Dicklick Brigade (Band) .
The Dicklick Brigade (Holland, 1945 - 2011)Edit
After the collossal failure of Geoff Mangum's earlier solo career, he had a chance meeting with the equally shit Thomas Yorkshire at a Dutch Gay-Club in October 2009. Soon after sucking eachother's dicks to the songs of Frankie Goes To Hollywood they decided it would be a a 'great idea' (read:shit idea) to start a band of all the weirdos, creeps and losers from other bands and backgrounds and make some MUZAK.
The Dicklick Brigade was officially re-formed in November 2009 having being named after Mangum and Yorkshire's favourite sexual act and the latters love of fire engines.
Rise to 'Fame'Edit
After founding the band and recruiting several like-minded losers to join in, The Dicklick Brigade started on their long path to musical super-stardom and ego-tripping.
They rose to prominence in underground scenes in late-2009 when their post-avant jazzcore cover of Justin Bieber’s “Baby” was featured on a number of radio shows you’ve probably never heard of. However, when the track received 2000 scrobbles, lead singer Geoff Mangum retired for the first time, citing that the fame was too much for him. Following Mangum’s departure, bassist Not Tyler, the Creator In A Wig stepped forward as the group’s leader, moving the band in a more progressive dreamfunk direction.
Fucking around with Side-ProjectsEdit
In December 2010 Geoff Mangum found himself in deep financial problems because of his illegitimate communist daughter. He and Varg Vikernes began fundraising as street musicians under the name The Bursumz. This didn't last long, Mangum went back to Recluseville, USA whilst Vikerenes decided to get to work on more DLB projects.
Retirement proved to be too much for Mangum, who secretly longed for appraisal for all his really, really shitty songs and a public outlet for his newfound love of JEEEEESSSSSSUUUUUUSSSSSSS CCCHHHHHRRRRIIIISSSSTTTTTTT! He decided that the best option to convert the heathen masses would be to start a label and get some studio releases out into the world.
In late December 2010 Mangum launched the record label Loving J. Christ Records. He promptly announced his return to The DLB to his 16 Twitter followers and bandmates. The newly re-energized Dicklick Brigade celebrated the event with a big firework, which quickly spread around the world and lasted 24 million hours.
All Lights Fucked... a.k.a all aboard the Hype TrainEdit
In 2011 an album titled All Lights Fucked On The Hairy Amp Drooling was leaked onto 4chan’s /mu/ board (oh no). It is currently uploading to Mediafire at 15%.
For realsies though, after years of build up and hype, their debut LP, All Lights Fucked On The Hairy Amp Drooling wascommercially released in June 2011 and received an unprecedented 11.0 BNM from Pitchfork Media [source], and a decent to strong 11.4 from The Needle Drop [source].
Mangum was pleased with the results but had even bigger plans for the collective. He wanted some of the jew gold he'd heard so much about.While the hype was still at an all time high for ALFOTHAD, the rejected songs from the 1st album got thrown into an EP along with some experimental tracks. The release was titled the Syringe Vagina Disease EP. It was pretty shit and mostly forgotten in the hype of the band’s first release.
To Crown A KingEdit
The Band’s sophomore album release, To Crown A King, was released the very next day, quickly starting to gain the band a reputation for quantity over quality and prolific release schedules.
The first single ‘Jeff Mangum’s Ballsack’, a crudely disguised diss track towards the on-again, off-again band founder Geoff Mangum, was released to great commercial success went multi-platinum in twelve countries, including Luxembourg.
It was far more accessible than their debut, earning the bands accusations of selling out. The success brought them national recognition and a place on the MTV VMAs, when host Kanye West told them “Yo Dicklicks, I’ma really happy for you, I’m gonna let you finish, but Onager was one of the best /mu/ artists of all time. ALL TIME. Oh, thanks for the place on the /mu/ essentials, by the way.”
To this, the band responded via press release “He isn’t even true /mu/core. He can fuck and breed our tight muscle asses.”
Dat Hairdryer Track and further successEdit
They released their third album, “Dat Hairdryer Track”on June 21, 2011. It received prospective AOTY from Rolling Stone and Wire magazines. It also brought the band four stars on the Hollywood Walk of Fame and exhibitions as well as live-streamed performances at The Museum of Modern Art and the Solomon R. Guggenheim Museum.
Controversy, 1st Hiatus and $WAGEdit
The Dicklick Brigade surprised their fanbase and critics with their fourth album, “The Holocaust Was a Lie”, released June 21, 2011. Despite it’s controversial title it was highly praised among critics and was often described as ‘neo-Mozartesque’ and ‘one of the most influential achievements in modern music’. The band discarded these ‘plebeian labels’ as ‘2deep4u’. The album became a staple of the “$WAG” lifestyle and was reported to be “heard bumpin’ errywhere in L.A. nawmean?”
Around the time of release, rumours about a rock opera were spreading via the internet. The rock opera is said to be about a walrus named Bob. The band quickly issued a press release quashing the ridiculous rumours with "Shut up about a new album. We’re on hiatus for now" and "we don’t want to get buttangered by eachother and start >implying and such".
The band promptly went on an indefinite hiatus after a buttangered >implying match.
Comeback, I Love You Anna Karina <3 and the 2nd HiatusEdit
Only one day after the band went on hiatus they began recording their fifth album, tentatively titled I Love You Anna Karina <3. The news about a new album caused the internet to crash within minutes, which in return caused riots in Greece, Libya, Algeria, Morocco and Saudi Arabia.
The fanboys’ reception of the album was mixed. Some liked the new direction of ‘neo-psychedelic-dada dreamfunk’ and ‘post-avant-garde lo-fi indie folk’. Most fans however blamed The Dicklick Brigade for selling out and claimed the hiatus was not long enough. It is generally accepted that the first 4 tracks and the 6th track are all of decent quality, while the rest suck cock.
Geoff Mangum admitted shortly after the release that ‘even gods can fail.’ Their LP was so bad, they had to release an EP with the five songs that didn’t completely suck. The subsequent re-release was an EP titled 'I Love You Anna Karina (Peruvian EP). This pleased the masses like a luxurious opium den.
Afterwards the band went on a 2nd hiatus. But this time: for real.
On hiatus and The Biggest Comeback YetEdit
After managing to get free, the two accepted their differences after a heated argument over a hair dryer and Geoff was welcomed back into the band. Apparently Varg missed him and Jake wanted to mock his 'dumb jew face' again.This marked the end of Dicklick’s 2nd hiatus, they we're back. The band promptly went into the studio to record a new album entitled “Lee Carvalho's Putting Challenge”. Yorkshire maintains the album name came to him when he woke up sucking on a lemon. The news of a new album caused Harry Truman’s hand to slip and accidentally bomb Japan. Twice.
LCPC was released to overwhelming rave reviews, Pitchfork Media gave it a fabled 10.0 BNM, while buttmad fanboys who didn’t like Geoff’s contribution continue to say The Holocaust Was a Lie is their best work. The dazzling fame and easy jew gold was too much and Geoff contemplated suicide, getting so far as to write out a note saying he wanted to “hang with Ian Curtis”. Before he could go through with it his recording studio was stormed by DEA and S.W.A.T. teams from an anonymous informant (probably Thomas Yorkshire letting out some butthurt).
When police flipped the suicide note over, they found an ounce of weed taped to the back. The 'tip' was true. Mangum was arrested on accounts of marijuana possession as well as being an ultra-fag lol.
Having Mangum so cruelly taken away from them caused the band to go on yet another hiatus. Also they couldn't give a shit about it anymore and wanted some beers.
The DLB lives on?Edit
After a quiet disappearance from the music scene and Geoff’s prison sentence, The DLB was thought to be dead, and it was, for awhile.
In July 2011, the group pulled each other back together. The lure of attention and easy drugs was just too much. They released their biggest #1 hit single OF ALL TIME, Ronaldo. It was truly the GOAT.Shortly after this, the team conceived and recorded a new album in roughly two hours, releasing it the next day. Titled “I'm Based (Thank You Gay God)”, the newly exubriated band now had only one objective in mind: to FREE GEOFF MANGUM.
The band removed all excess production and outside influences, creating a work more similar to their older works, with new krautrock and ambient styles incorporated. Although Ronaldo proved immensely successful, the hype quickly died out, leading to poor sales. I’m Based is widely regarded as the band’s King of Limbs. Virtually no fanfare was produced by the release, leaving only the most hardcore fans to begin a new 2nd wave of TDLB releases, which will most assuredly be equal failures. Shortly after release of this album, a Director’s Cut was announced, in an attempt to grab more attention.
The Second ComingEdit
The story wasn't over, the second wave of DLB albums was coming.... Following a string of well-endowned releases to padden their careers, The DLB released their 12th studio album, A Light 9.
In a stunning, hipster-ish turn of events, the Dicklick Brigade originally released this album only on the long-dead format of Compact Cassette. This angered fans and confounded critics, with some calling it the move of a genius and others decrying it as being pretentious. Those who were angry with the release format did not realize that the album actually contained some of the most accessible music the Dicklick Brigade had created to that point. However, the backlash was already in full force before the album was even released, and the after effects caused depression and a drought of creativity within the group, which led to their following album,>abum bart, to have an extremely limited release and to extreme delays in the release of Charlie the Cat, which was released shortly before the group went on hiatus (previously presumed to be their last album). The group finally reunited to create the momentous album Niggerman 4 Mod, which critically led to the "3rd Wave" of Dicklick.